


An Ill Wind

by igotyoucookie



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Inspired by The Hunger Games, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-15 09:17:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11803065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igotyoucookie/pseuds/igotyoucookie
Summary: It's the 2nd quarter quell, celebrating 50 years of the Hunger Games. District 12's tributes are Haymitch Abernathy and Maysilee Donner. This is their story.Written from Maysilee's point of view.





	1. The Writing On The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Haymitch is my favourite character from The Hunger Games and I've always been very interested in his untold story. Parts of this story strays from the facts of the book/films to further my own story. For example, I only had two tributes instead of the four which is mentioned in the book so that I could focus on the relationship between Haymitch and Maysilee as well as the Mentor. However, I've made a lot of "interesting" links and created my own answers and explanations for questions raised in the books about Haymitch. I will try to update it as much as possible... I promise! I hope you enjoy.

A Wild Turkey approached the bush where I was hiding out. It spread its wings, basking in the sunlight that found its way through the trees. Slowly, he closed his eyes with content and a false sense of security, completely unaware of my presence. But that's how you cause the most damage with anything, lure them into a false sense of security before you make your strike. Make them feel that they're safe and they will willingly lay down on the slaughter table. This is how the advantaged treats the dissadvantaged; how they always have and always will.

 

I held my knife poised, ready to throw, and with a slick flick of the wrist, the Turkey laid dead on the floor, my knife wedged into his neck.

 

"Whoa!" Haymitch stumbled out of the tree line, laughing a little too loudly, ensuring that we wouldn't be able to get any more game today. "That was deadly!"

 

"Pretty good, huh?" I grinned while wiping the blood off of my knife and onto my trousers.

 

"Good," he hesitated. "Just not my standard."

 

Poaching and entry to the forest had been against the law for as long as I can remember, but that had never stopped us.

 

"All right." He clamped his hands together. "Let's make tracks, we've got work to do."

 

We made our way back into District 12, sliding under the long fens that they held us in like livestock. They said it was to keep bears and other predators from the woods out, but we knew better. As I said, false sense of security.

 

As we made our way back to the Seam, we stopped by the Hob, a Black Market, looking to score a loaf of bread. The abandoned building was usually teaming with people and common criminals, trying to sell off their old and usually less than legal possessions. The Peacekeepers were fully aware of it's existence, but luckily for the stall owners it was the only place in town where they could go for cheap licker or find meat when there were shortages, so it was never shut down.

 

Before we entered, Haymitch bent down and ripped a handful of grass out of the ground which he tied into a bundle using a small piece of string.

 

We walked up to the grocer who owned a small stall overflowing with rolls and loafs of bread. The smell of it made my stomach grumble. The man behind the stall watched as Haymitch produced the bundle of grass out of his pocket. "I'll trade you this for a loaf of bread."

 

"What's that?" The grocer grunted.

 

"Oliveander. Have you never tried it before?" Haymitch acted as if he was surprised that the grocer hadn't heard of this made up ingredient.

 

"It looks like grass." The grocer replied.

 

"Well observed, sir." Haymitch dead-panned, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Haymitch detested stupid people, but unfortunately our survival depended on them. "It's a herb. It's very strong and slightly sweet but also quite rare. It will turn any broth, or loaf of bread, into something quite special, and your dish will take on a whole new life."

 

"If it's so good then why are you selling it to me?" Good question.

 

This is where I step in. "Look we've been searching all day for it and we just need to trade them for any food we can get. We're hungry."

 

I always got the sympathy card. As all of my subjects, the baker's cold eyes softened as he started to pack a couple of rolls into a bag for us. We accepted the bread and quickly left the Hob in case, with closer inspection, he realised that there was no such thing Oliveander and that he had, in fact, purchased a handful of grass.

 

Haymitch and I made a good team. He was the seller and I was the persuader. We had been best friends since the first day of school. We were both dirt poor and had a less than adequate family unit, so we had a lot in common. We soon learnt to look after one another and realised that we were self-sufficient enough not to have to depend on anyone. For me, Haymitch made this living hell bearable.

 

From the Hob we went straight back to my room in the community house that I shared with 36 other unwanted children. I was left there as a baby and had managed to survive in this dump for 16 years. To this day I still have no idea who my parents are or if they're dead or alive. But to be honest, I really don't care.

 

Haymitch started preparing the turkey on the floor as I started the make shift fire-pit which we had made in my room under a slanted window.

 

"We're in for a feast tonight, Maysilee." Haymitch rubbed his hands together.

 

"Well, we do need fuel for tonight’s main event." I grinned.

 

And what we had planned for tonight was grand indeed. Other than being poor and having crappy parents, we had another similarity: our hate for Panem. And tonight we were planning to make a move against the Capitol. It was a very weak move indeed, but at least it would be something. We've been planning what we would do for months, and a few days before the reaping seemed like a perfect time to do it.

 

So we ate the turkey and the bread (well, I ate and Haymitch inhaled the food) and went over the plans one last time. Haymitch hid under the bed when the landlady came around at lights-out as he usually did when he stayed the night. Sometimes he dreads going home and I could understand why. I had never met his farther because he never wanted me to, but I had seen the bruises that he had left on Haymitch and understood that he was a nasty piece of work. I was happy when I had Haymitch at night. Even though I'd lived here my entire life, something still scared me about the coldness of the place and it's residents.

 

At 1am, we sneaked out through the window and shimmied down the drain pipe. Over the last couple of weeks we had studied the peacekeepers patrol system, so that we knew that we weren't going to bump into any of them. But we still only had a small window of time to get the job done before we would be in their path.

 

We arrived outside the Mayors house where the reaping would be filmed and pulled out the red paint that we had made from berries we had collected in the forest. As Haymitch dipped his brush into the paint, I gasped. "A Peacekeeper is coming."

 

Haymitch's spine shot straight and his eyes grew wide as he looked around for the said Peacekeeper.

 

"Just kidding." I grinned.

 

He gritted his teeth, "I swear to God…"

 

I left him fuming and cursing at me as I quickly started work on the wall. Working with haste, we were done in just over a minute.

 

We stepped back to observe our work. The spotless walls of the centre of District 12 were now gratified in red paint which read: _"the odds are_ _never_ _i_ _n_ _our favour_ ".

 

"That is a thing of beauty." Haymitch nodded in approval.

 

~

 

The next morning, we took a detour through the square on our way to school to see if they had covered the paint yet. Our graffiti had seemed to of drawn somewhat of a crowd. A couple of peacekeepers were desperately trying to get everyone to keep moving but had little power over the crowd.

 

We didn't stop to watch, as not to give the game away, and continued out of the square. But we were being followed. We soon recognised our stalkers as two peacekeepers that we have had frequent run ins with before. They were both young and overly ambitious and seemed to hold a grudge against us.

 

We heard their pace fasten as we turned into an alley. Suddenly, I was being flung into the wall. Two large beefy hands grabbed me and positioned me against the jagged stone, where he held me with his forearm lingering dangerously near my throat. He was of a large build, around 6.2" and even under his suit I could tell that we was made of solely skin and muscle. The Peacekeeper's name was Olli and the other, who had attacked Haymitch, was named Rondall. Haymitch was now on the floor with Rondall standing over him wavering his baton.

 

"Stay down!" Rondall demanded Haymitch, which he did. I can safely say that both Haymitch and I are good fighters; for the amount of trouble we get ourselves into, we have to be. But fighting Peacekeepers was pointless, they were stronger than us. And even if we did get a swing in, the punishment would be far worse than taking a little beating from a power-tripping boy in a white suit.

 

"Well, well, well." Olli sneered, his face lingering inches away from my own, obviously trying to intimidate me. "The punishment for theft is death but the punishment for treason is far far worse."

 

"Lucky we don't partake in any of those activities, isn't it then?" Haymitch grinned up at Rondall, who raised his baton and struck Haymitch on his side. And that's what you get for being a smart-arse.

 

"We know it's you." Olli continued, leaning into me. "It's always the two of you. And one day we'll have the evidence to prove it. One day you'll slip up and we'll be there, don't you worry about that."

 

"Oh, we won't." I dead-panned.

 

Suddenly, Olli let go of me and I slid to the floor. Without another word, he bowled off with Rondall trailing behind him like a puppy.

 

"Have a nice day." Haymitch called after them, even though they were now out of ear-shot. "Arseholes."

"They know it was us." I hissed, panic now consuming me. Was the graffiti really worth it? The punishment that we were inevitably going to receive.

 

"Did you not just hear them? They said that they didn't have any evidence." Haymitch said, as he pulled himself up and shook off the dirt.

 

"But what if…"

 

"Look at me." Haymitch placed his palms on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. "I will not let anything happen to you. I promise."

 

~

 

At school that day, Throughout every lesson I kept one eye on the classroom door, waiting for a Peacekeeper to come in with a warrant for my arrest. Waiting for someone to take me away to never be seen again. Or if so, it would be for my public execution. They'd probably leave my body hanging there until I started to rot, to serve as a warning to the rest of the district.

 

But no one came. The bell signalled the end of the school day and it looked as if we hadn't been caught after all. If they knew it was us they would have made their move by now. And Haymitch was clearly thinking the same thing. "I think we deserve ourselves a little celebration, don't you?"

 

~

 

We found ourselves in the market on the nicer side of town. We rarely came here for two reasons. 1) we couldn't afford anything here and 2) when we did go to the market, we were there with less than innocent intentions. So it was better not to show our faces as much as possible. We both remained hidden within the shadows of a side street, dressed in oversized hoods that concealed our identity without looking suspicious.

 

"Go on then, you go do what you do best." I gave Haymitch a push, who gave me a wink before emerging into the busy crowd of market-goers.

 

Haymitch casually walked down amongst the stalls before abruptly turning on a little old lady. She had a frail yet sweet persona and any colour that had once existed in her hair had long gone.

 

"Did you just grab my arse?" Haymitch accused the poor old lady, loud enough to grab attention. "How dare you touch me in such a private place. You should be ashamed of yourself!"

 

Once the crowd was focussed on Haymitch and the unfortunate lady that now looked like she was going to keel over from a heart-attack, I made my move. Swiftly, I ran through the back of the market and as I approached the table set up by the brewery, I snatched a large bottle of wine and a bottle of some unknown white alcoholic drink (I didn't have time to be fussy). Everything was going smoothly, Haymitch was still accusing a grandma of sexual assault and I was running soundlessly towards the exit. Now grinning as I thought we had gotten away with the crime, a cat appeared across my path and entangled itself in my feet, sending me plummeting to the ground. Fortunately, the bottles remained in tact. Unfortunately, my cover didn't.

 

"She's got my wine! Stop her!" I heard someone shout.

 

I didn't have to look back to know that I had a mob of angry stall-holders chasing after me.

 

"He's in with it!" I could only assume they were talking about Haymitch.

 

Soon he was beside me running, and I knew that we should have been scared because of the amount of trouble that we could be in, but we looked at each other and we just couldn't stop laughing.

 

We made it back to "The Den", still laughing and without losing pace.

 

"That was brilliant!" Haymitch looked giddy with adrenaline.

 

" _Did you just grab my arse?"_ I mocked, tears of laughter literally rolling down my cheeks.

 

The Den was a place that we first discovered when we were 10. Hidden behind an unused coal mine and over a river was a small patch of grass where flowers grew and a couple of trees created a spot of shade. It was like our own little Haven. A place where we could escape life, just for a while.

 

Over the years we've made a few improvements. Firstly, we found a plank of wood that someone discarded, so we placed it over the river and we're now using it as a makeshift bridge in stead of having to wade through the water, at risk of catching a cold like we used to. We also added a few candles around our Den so that we could stay there late at night if we wanted to. But I think that our best addition is an old mattress that someone left on their door step to be taken away, which we did.

 

"Congratulations, my friend!" Haymitch grinned, as he fell back onto the mattress and ripped the cork from the wine out with his teeth.

 

After taking a seat next to him and passing the wine back and forth a couple of times I asked, "How are you feeling about tomorrow?" I was of course referring to the annual Hunger Games.

 

He made a disapproving sound at the back of his throat. "I hope they haven't covered up our masterpiece yet, and they have to show it on live TV, all of Panem watching." He laughed at the thought.

 

"They would probably knock the entire building down before they would let that happen." I rolled my eyes.

 

"Look at it this way," Haymitch said. "Most of the kids in the seam have their names in the hat at least 20 times by our age. _At least 20_. And we have, what? Eight? Nine? Technically, The odds are in our favour."

 

"Wish we would have realised that before we wrote it on the mayors wall." I joked. Haymitch was right. Most kids (especially the poorer ones) put an extra name in every year for provisions for each member of their family. The best thing about not having family is not having to look after them.

 

"If I did get reaped though, I know what I'd do." Haymitch conspired. "I'd wait till the parade, jump off my chariot and slit President Snow's fat throat."

l

"I'd definitely watch that Hunger Games." I nodded in appreciation.

 

"I was thinking," Haymitch, sat up taking on a serious demeanour. "We retaliate against the Games. Say, we shut down the large screen showing it in the square."

 

I considered this. "How would we do that?"

 

"I was thinking about damaging the screen but it would put us too far at risk."

 

"How about we cut the power supply? Cut the wires?" I offered. "I mean they will soon replace it but at least we could show them what we think of their 'show'."

 

"You, Maysilee Donner, are a genius!" Haymitch grabbed me in a hug(?) and wrestled me to the ground.

 

"You only just realised?" I giggled.

 

Soon enough, and after a bottle of wine and a bottle of mysterious and very very strong white stuff, night was upon us. I lay down on the mattress, resting my head on Haymitch's chest. My favourite thing about our Den was the view. From here we could fall asleep, gazing up at the stars. Tonight there seemed to be more stars in the sky than ever before.

 

"It's beautiful." I said.

 

"Yep." Haymitch said, obviously not taking quite as much interest in the stars as myself.

 

"All of those stars out there, every one with their own solar-system, like ours. All of those planets. All of that life... There has to be. It really makes you realise how insignificant we are. How small all of this is. How pathetic our struggle is."

 

"Yep."

 


	2. You Reap What You Sew

I arrived back at the house the next morning, in time for breakfast. Breakfast had become a rare occurrence due to the food shortages. When the whole district was running out of money, it wasn't a very high priority to keep the kids that nobody cared about full. But on the day of the reaping there was always more food than we needed. Probably to sweeten the blow that one of us might be taken away to our deaths today.

 

I swung the front door open to find the homes matron, Margaret, standing on the other side, waiting for me.

 

"And where have you been?" She raised both eyebrows, arms crossed over her chest.

 

"Oh, you know, out and about." I smiled up at her, innocently.

 

"Hmmm." Her lips tightened into a line.

 

"Is that a new top?" I asked, an obvious attempt of trying to divert the conversation.

 

Margaret continued anyway. "You know why you aren't allowed out at night. Anything could happen to you."

 

I sighed. "And then you would lose your job."

 

"You think that's all I care about? You don't think I care about you?" She asked, becoming pink in the cheeks quicker than normal.

 

"I'm sorry, it will never happen again." I cut to the end of the conversation before walking past her and into the house.

 

"That's what you said last time." She called after me.

 

"And yet you're still surprised."

 

I walked into the dining room, grabbed a bowl and waited for the sweaty dinner lady to slop a spoonful of grey stuff into it. Today, as a treat we had porridge with dried fruit in.

 

"Out all night?" Amber sniggered. Amber was a scraggy looking girl who had a room down the hall from me. She was one of those people who believes that they rank above everyone in everything in life. And, unfortunately, I'm one of those people who have to knock those types of people down a couple of levels. It was safe to say that we were never going to get along. But even I didn't predict how heated it would become between the two of us. It seemed that she always went out of her way to make my life a living nightmare, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I always rose to it. Once, I was put on a whole months cleaning duty because I broke her arm during a fight. But it was worth it.

 

 

She was now sitting at a dinning table, surrounded by her friends who were readying themselves to laugh at whatever unintelligible snipe that Amber was going to take at me.

 

"Yes." I gritted my teeth.

 

She turned back to her friends but spoke loud enough so that I could hear. "What a slut?"

 

I smiled bitterly. "Firstly, no I'm not. And secondly, you're just jealous because no one would even touch you with a barge pole."

 

"Excuse me?" She gasped.

 

My eyebrows knitted together. "Did I stutter?"

 

With that, I walked away, satisfied that I had won, and found a seat, alone on the table. I lifted a small spoonful up to my lips, but the smell of it alone made my stomach turn. And for the first time that day I realised that I was actually worried about the reaping. I thought about what Haymitch had said about the odds being in our favour. He was right. I knew that he was right. But there was still a building anxiety that I couldn't ignore. Even if it's not me, there’s one girl, one innocent life, sitting down to breakfast now, who's life is about to change forever. Deciding that I wasn't going to finish my breakfast at risk of being sick in front of everyone this afternoon, I picked up my bowl and discreetly poured it into Degro's. Degro was 5 years old and had moved here only a year ago. His mother died giving birth to him and his farther died in the mines; he hadn't spoken a word since. Since he moved here I've felt irrationally protective of him- making sure that he was fed well and keeping him company when he needed it. Even though he doesn't talk, we've never had any trouble communicating. It's like we had a secret understanding.

 

He smiled up at me, weakly. Even though he was too young to qualify for the Hunger Games, I could tell that he still felt nervous about today.

 

"It's going to be ok." I reassured him, taking his hand. But it felt wrong, knowing that everything was very far from ok.

 

I left the canteen and made my way to my room. I quickly stopped off in the communal bathroom to splash my face with water. Once I got in my room, I took out my dress from the closet, pulled it on and stroked a brush through my hair. I looked myself up and down in the mirror, smoothing the soft material down with my hands. I would go as far as saying that I looked pretty. The dress wasn't overwhelming but it was all that I could afford. It was a dark blue like the evening sky and fell down to my knees. The bottoms were finished with the same black lace that was used for my collar. I weren't sure why I cared so much about how i looked for the reaping. Everybody dresses up for the reaping, but as a self proclaimed enemy of the Capitol, I should be down there in my nightdress just to make a point.

 

~

 

"Look at you, gorgeous." Haymitch smirked. He was waiting for me outside the house, so that we could walk down to the reaping together.

 

"Looking rather dapper yourself." I smirked back at him. Haymitch, was wearing a yellowing shirt sticking out of a pair of black trousers, the same outfit that he wore for every event. And his dirty yellow hair was as messy as ever.

 

"Shall we, Sweetheart?" Haymitch held his arm out, which I looped my own around.

 

"We shall."

 

We signed in at the small make-shift desk at the entrance of the square, at which, a small, guilty looking woman sat behind, avoiding all eye contact. We then took our places, ready for the reaping; each age group was separated from one another and each gender separated from each age group.

 

Emily Everdeen soon found me in the crowd. Emily was the daughter of the healers that owned the apothecary in town. She had been friends with Haymitch and I for quite a few years now but she had never shared our bravery, or stupidity as she would describe it. She never handled reapings well, her hands were shaking and her face pale as fresh white linen; completely contradictory to how she behaved when healing people. I've always found it funny how she would bring a man back from the dead without showing any signs of fear, but to be reduced to a nervous mess when faced with the matter of a reaping. I know which one I would prefer. But that's what drew me to her in the first place. It was Haymitch's and I first offence (that we got caught for); we were in the first stages of the whole distract and swipe routine when, much alike yesterday, we slipped up. Haymitch was doing a poor job of keeping everyone's attention and I was a little less than discrete myself, so between us, we botched things up. We were soon called out but what we didn't realise was that there were Peacekeepers in the square concealed by the masses. We took flight but they were quickly on our heels. They slapped the one handcuffs on, and filled with dread, we were directed to the main square outside the Justice Building. Words were exchanged and soon we were tied to the large whipping pillars. For half of an hour we were left there just to rot and soak in our own fears. By the time the Peacekeepers made their way back, a large crowd had gathered around us.

 

I felt almost betrayed by how willing people were to come watch us suffer. Perhaps they thought we deserved it and perhaps they were right. But it wasn't as if all we did was take, we gave back as well. I don't know how many kids from the Seam would have died of starvation if it wasn't for us. When their parents could do nothing for them, we were the ones who did, whether that was by feeding them with our picks from the forest or from the people who wouldn't even notice if they were missing a loaf of bread. Besides, I don't care how angry I was at someone, I would never stand by and watch them be humiliated by the Capitol.

 

As I heard footsteps approach behind us, I made the mistake of turning around. My eyes met with the Head Peacekeeper's, who was now wielding a long leather whip. He seemed to take my eye contact as a challenge, offended that I wasn't disabled in fear. But I was inside. I had seen people at the Hob before, reduced to walking on crutches after being whipped for far more acceptable offences than our own. I have heard of many cases where people have even been killed on these polls. I didn't know what was going to become of us and I was terrified, but I wasn't going to drop my eyes from his. I didn't want him to know that I was afraid.

 

The Peacekeeper rose the whip over his shoulder, glanced at me, and let it go, striking Haymitch's bare back. Haymitch flinched; I could see in his face the extent of the pain he was in. I felt a sharp breath escape me and water threatening at my eyes. I turned to the Peacekeeper who was watching me like an eagle watching his prey, a smirk now stretched over his face. He struck again and I couldn't watch any longer, I rest my forehead on the pole attempting to hide my face. But I couldn't keep my eyes averted for long. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I couldn't help but watch Haymitch shudder under the force of the leather. He didn't keep his dignified solemn stature for long. Soon he was hissing profanities under his breath which quickly turned to indecipherable whimpers.

 

"STOP! PLEASE!" The words escaped my mouth before I knew what I was saying.

 

"Maysilee!" Haymitch snapped, as viciously as he could manage.

 

"I'll get to you in a minute, girl." The Peacekeeper sneered.

 

Haymitch was right, shouting and screaming wasn't going to help anything. I was only going to make it worse for the both of us.

 

Finally, Haymitch's punishment was over. He collapsed limp against the pole, blood steadily seeping out of his back. It was a sight that I could hardly bare. But I had little time to take it in. Suddenly, white hot pain shot through me. Again, then again, and again. I gritted my teeth together, trying to contain my screams. But as I felt the life drain out of me, it became harder and harder to stay strong. Even after the whipping had stopped, I couldn't stop sobbing, sheer pain leaking through every vein in my body. I could feel that the skin on my back had been ripped open and was now bleeding heavily. But I knew we had been let off lightly, presumably because we were still under age. And for this I was thankful because I don't think I could have handled much more.

 

I felt my hands being untied and soon I was being pulled to my feet. A group of minors that we had never met before practically carried us to the apothecary. We were placed face-down on wooden tables when Emily burst into the room with her mother. Her mother quickly started on my back and set Emily on Haymitch's. I watched Emily as she worked, concentrating on anything other than than the pain and trying to stay conscious. She was fierce in her approach but I could see how delicately her fingers danced over his wounds. Never the less, Haymitch kept moving and yelling expletives, which, to my amusement, Emily responded to by scolding him. On at least five occasions she threatened to wash his mouth out with soap and water.

 

Once they had finished patching us up, Emily stayed with us to make sure to that we would be ok. She was very attentitive and also turned out to be very funny. She was also interested in how we got ourselves into the situation and was very shocked yet excited when we told her. She made the experience a little more bearable for us. So after we were sent home, we made a special effort to talk to her at school until she fell into our friendship group quite naturally.

 

Emily grabbed my hand as Orna Earthhair, District 12's escort, appeared on the stage. She was wearing a large puffy dress, which wouldn't fit through most doors in this district, and a ridiculous rainbow coloured wig. Behind her sat our mayor and the only Victor District 12 has ever had, Brier Dayforge. Brier was known for being the Capitol's sweetheart and a bit of a lady killer. All of the women in the Capitol were apparently swooning after him and he was more than happy to take advantage of this. The Capitol call him endearing with a smoking hot bad boy persona but we just call him an arrogant prick. However, it's said that he isn't floating quite as sweetly as he wants everyone to think. His housekeeper says that he wakes from nightmares screaming and has been somewhat of a suicide risk ever since the games.

 

I glanced over to where the boys were all lined up and searched for Haymitch who already had eyes on me.

"Happy Hunger Games!" Orna squealed. Haymitch and I mouthed along, Haymitch twirling his hair and giving a flirtatious wink like Orna was known to do. "And may the odds be ever in you favour!"

At the start of every Hunger Games we have to watch this tedious film explaining to us why they're murdering our children and why we should be thankful for it. It's sickening. Once this is over, we get on with the actual reaping which I can't say is much nicer.

"Ladies first." Orna makes her way over to the glass bowl full of names. She plucks a piece of paper out and unfolds it. "District's 12 female tribute is Maysilee Donner!"

 

_Maysilee Donner_.

 

I felt the blood run from my body. It took me a while to process what she had said. How could this have been possible? I thought that I was safe. I thought that it wouldn't be me. Well, I obviously thought wrong.

Everyone was now staring at me, confirming that in fact I had not misheard her. I was this years tribute, this was real, and I had to get to the stage. I willed my legs to move, to do anything, but my body refused. Soon, a rough hand was wrapped around my arm and pulling me into the isle and up towards the stage. All eyes were on me now. Not just the ones that I could see, but every district, every citizen of the Capitol and even President Snow was watching me. _I have to be strong_ , I instructed myself. I couldn't let them win. I held my head high and made an attempt to walk myself up onto the stage as opposed to being dragged on it.

Orna ran over to me, balancing on her ridiculously high heels and pulled me into a hug which I did not reciprocate.

 

"Congratulations!" She chirped, but my hearing had become muffled, as if I had been submerged into water. As instructed, I stood on the right hand side of the stage, looking out to my District and decided that this was the beginning of the end.

 

Orna had now picked another piece of paper from the opposite bowl and was reading from it. "And District 12's male tribute is Haymitch Abernathy."

 

"No!" It took everyone looking at me again to realise that it it was I who uttered the protest.

 

This was no co-incidence. This was our punishment. They knew about us. They knew what we did. And now they had set this up to remind us just how much power they held over us. And they were right. Compared to them, what are we? Infants? Insects? Nothing but an inconvenience. We can use our paint, they can use their games. If we can use our fists, then they can use their guns. Any attempt of rebellion was futile. We just needed to be reminded of this.

 

Haymitch was now on my left, his expression blank, dead almost, but his eyes piercing.

 

"Well, by that reaction, am I safe to assume that you know one another?" Orna was now holding the microphone towards me.

 

I was surprised by the strength behind my voice when I spoke. "Haymitch is my best friend. He's like a brother to me." As I spoke I looked her dead in the eye, hoping that she would feel even the slightest bit of guilt. But she didn't. In fact she looked enthralled. She was finally going to get to escort people of interest and with a story, not just some weak children from a scummy District.

 

"Don't worry." Brier was suddenly at my side, his arm wrapped around me. "I promise that I will look after both you and your friend. You can trust me." He smiled at me earnestly. Even though I had never seen Brier as someone who I'd want to be friends with, and even though once we get into the games those words would mean nothing, I felt his promise comforting. It made me feel as if we weren't alone in this.

 

~

 

We were escorted into the Justice Building and separated into different rooms before I had a chance to speak to Haymitch. To confide in him and speak to him about our _punishment_. We were to wait in these rooms to say goodbye to our friends and non-existent families. After what seemed like forever waiting, Emily busted in sobbing, with our friends, Trove and Alisia, trailing in behind her. Emily threw herself down on the seat next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

 

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed. There was a tone of anxiety in her voice, indicating that they knew it was more than a co-incidence.

 

Trove took my hand and sat on my other side. "I don't know what to say." He choked.

 

"Neither do I." I admitted, blinking hard, attempting to stop any tears before they could escape.

 

Alisia was also crying but I knew that her tears were not for me. Her and Haymitch had been involved in a toxic relationship for the last two years. Every couple of months they would forget why they were so wrong together, get drunk, and then get together. It would take about a week before they would start arguing viciously and then eventually break up. Haymitch then would become a recluse for a week, pushing everyone away and grovelling in his own self pity. I soon took a dislike to Alisia because of how unhappy she made Haymitch; not that I could solely blame her for their failed relationship, I know how difficult Haymitch can be.

 

"We're going to miss you." Emily's words were muffled into my shoulder.

 

"Yeah who's going to steal us alcohol now?" Trove mocked and we all laughed weakly.

 

"Look after yourselves, ok?" I said, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear (there was no holding back now).

 

"Look after ourselves? You should be worrying about yourself; you're the ones going into the Hunger Games." Trove scoffed.

 

"Am I? Thanks for reminding me." I looked around for cameras and once satisfied that we weren't being watched, I lowered my voice. "Go straight to my room, before they clear everything out, I've hidden all my money and hunting gear under the bed, Haymitch's too. Take it all and split it between you. Just don't do anything too stupid, it's not worth it." Of that I was sure now.

 

"Thank you." Trove kissed me on the head as Emily hugged me even tighter.

 

The Peacekeepers came too soon and told my friends that they had to go. I waved them off knowing that this would be the last time that I would ever see them.

 

My heart fluttered as the door creaked open; it had to be Haymitch. Who else would there be, my 4 friends are the only people who care about me in District 12 (and I have to question Elisia's motives more often than not). I leaped out of the chair and propelled myself into Haymitch's open arms. I buried my face into his chest, blocking out the rest of the world so it could just be me and him for at least one moment. I wanted to stay like this forever, or at least until the Peacekeepers came and dragged us away, with my cheek pressed up against his chest so that I could hear his heart beating rapidly. But I knew this was going to be our only chance to talk in private.

 

"They caught us." Reluctantly I pulled away. Tears started gushing down my face without the safety of his embrace. "They knew it was us, Haymitch. And now they're punishing us."

 

"I'm so sorry." Was all that Haymitch said, staring blankly at the wall behind me.

 

"What were we thinking?" I felt my breaths becoming more shallow, and my voice becoming more desperate. "This is why they are so powerful. They rule through fear. And I'm scared now, Haymitch. They've won."

 

"I'm so sorry." He repeated. "This is all my fault." Suddenly, he stumbled back, grabbed the a vase off the coffee table. and catapulted it across the room. It smashed against the wall and rained onto the floor in the form of tiny little pieces.

 

"Haymitch!" I screamed, knowing that we couldn't risk getting into any more trouble than we all ready were. I grabbed his wrist as he went for the lamp. "Haymitch."

 

He looked down at my hand and then up into my eyes, immediately his face softened and he sank to the floor. "I'm so sorry." His reddening face scrunched up, and tears started to accumulate in his eyes. It was heartbreaking to see him like this. And I knew then that this was the worst part of it all- knowing that Haymitch was going to die. No, not just die, but suffer.

 

"This is as much my fault as it is yours. I mean, I chose the words for Christ sake." I tried to reassure him in the most soothing tone that I could muster. Having to look after someone helped me to get a grip on myself.

 

"My family came to say goodbye." Haymitch said, just loud enough so that I could hear. His head hung low so that all I could see was the top of his hair. "My Dad didn't even turn up. And my mum didn't even make an excuse for him. My mum cried and told me how much she loved me. Toby was a mess." Toby was Haymitch's little brother. He adored Haymitch and treated him like some higher power. If Haymitch told Toby to jump off a building, he probably would. And Haymitch adored him back; he never said it, but it was clear that he wanted be the father figure for Toby that Haymitch never had. "I can't help but think: what have I left them to? I was so selfish. They've always stuck by my side and now I've left them. When we were hungry, I was always the one who provided, what are they going to do now? Starve?"

 

"No." I protested, he couldn't think like that if we were going to survive up until the games.

 

His head snapped up, and his eyes shot on me. "Why not? Everyone else seems to in the Seam. What makes my family an exception now that I've abandoned them?" He growled.

 

He waited for an answer, but I had none. He was right, his family was going to find it difficult without him. I could have suggested that Toby had watched us hunt and steal before and that he might follow our footsteps, but I felt that would have only made it worse. I couldn't imagine little Toby chained to the whipping post, being lashed while everyone watched.

 

Thankfully a group of Peacekeepers walked into the room before I had to admit that Haymitch could be right. They marched us out of the building and down to the train station where we were hurried into a waiting carriage. Promptly, the train started moving and I watched District 12- my home- disappear out of sight. Forever.


	3. All That Glitters Is Not Gold

We were both sent to our rooms to shower and get changed before dinner.

 

On first inspection, there were two things that shocked me about this train. Firstly, I was surprised by how fast it moved. I had never even rid horseback before, so watching the trees fly by in a blur made me feel a little uneasy. Secondly, I couldn't believe how rich and grand the train looked. There were materials used in the décor that we couldn't even dream of in District 12. It made me realise how right we were when we said that the Capitol had money to burn. I even had a bathroom all to myself.

 

I stripped off my clothes and walked into the shower, initially confused by what to do in there. There were so many buttons, so I just kept pressing the ones that looked the most important until warm soapy water started to pour down on me. The feel of the droplets beating down on my bare skin was incredible. And the calming lavender smell that was now attached to me, was something that I could appreciate even if it was the Capitol's design.

 

Once I had finished, I had been told to look in the closet for a change of clothes. I scavenged through the colourful mess to find the plainest top and trousers that they had.

 

Soon Orna was knocking on my door, ready to show me to the dinning carriage. The dining carriage was even more grand than my quarters, with mahogany tables and crystal vases. The plates that were all ready laid out on the tables were definitely China and the many different sets of cutlery were made of silver.

I took a seat at the table next to Haymitch who barely glanced up from the floor to greet me. I placed a hand on his knee under the table. He smiled weakly in response.

 

Moments later, Brier brushed into the room wearing the same slick navy suit that he wore for the reaping. He froze before taking his seat, looking Haymitch and I up and down a couple of times with an amused look on his face. I felt vulnerable under his stare, confused by what it was that he was doing.

 

"Well, look how miserable the two of you are. Good. It can only mean that you have excepted your inevitable deaths." He said casually as if he was commenting on the weather and not our impending demise. That's when we realised that our mentor wasn't the nice caring person that he had initially led us to believe. He was, in fact, an arse.

 

"I think that a congratulations is due!" Orna singsonged, completely ignoring Brier. She raised her glass into the air which Brier mimicked.

 

"Congratulations?" Haymitch's eyebrows knitted together. "For what exactly?"

 

"For being chosen. It's a great honour you know- being your district's tribute." Orna explained like Haymitch was the most brain dead person to ever exist.

 

"Oh, yes, of course. We're both very privileged to die for the Capitol's entertainment." The venom in Haymitch's voice was completely lost on Orna, by the way she just beamed back at him.

 

Starters was soon served. We each were given a large bowl of creamy vegetable soup with buttered bread on the side. At first I wasn't going to touch it in my small little way of a protest. But I couldn't resist the intoxicating aromas that were drifting from the bowl any longer. I grabbed a piece of the bread and started scooping the soup up with it. I looked up and was met by Orna's horrified eyes. Apparently dipping bread isn't very ladylike here. So I continued to do it, making as much of a mess as I could. At least this made Haymitch smile.

 

"So, what's the plan?" Haymitch asked Brier, as a fresh bowl of some type of curry was placed in front of him.

 

"The plan?" Brier laughed, looking genuinely puzzled.

 

Haymitch blinked slowly in frustration, I could tell that he was trying to contain himself. "Yes, the plan. For the games. What strategy will we be using?"

 

Brier rubbed at his forehead as if he were trying to fend off a headache. "Well aren't you an eager beaver? Ok, fine. But I'm asking the questions first." A coy smile emerged on his face as he leant over the table towards us. "What type of trouble did you kiddies get yourselves into?"

 

"What?" I asked too quickly.

 

"It's not a hard question. It's a little too much of a coincidence that you two best-friends-for-life get thrown in the arena together. No, no, no. You did something which really pissed some people off. And not just a couple of Peacekeepers, but we're talking people with power here."

 

"It's none of your business." I shook my head and started cutting up a piece of lamb, indicating that the conversation was over.

 

"Actually it is, Honey, because if I'm going to help you, I need to know how much trouble you've got yourself in." Brier glared at me. "Whether it's worth them targeting you or not. If they would want to embarrass you. If they would want to torture you. How long they would want to drag your death out for. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes." I muttered.

 

Brier frowned and lifted two fingers to his ear. "Sorry? I didn't hear you."

 

"Yes! I understand!" I yelled, clutching onto my last straw of sanity.

 

"Well, there's no need to shout." Brier laughed.

 

"We painted something on the Justice Building." Haymitch admitted.

 

Brier broke out in a grin of recollection. "That was you? Well, I've heard stuff about the two of you, but that was pretty ballsy."

 

"Sorry, what did you do?" Orna asked.

 

Haymitch and I opened and closed our mouth like carps, unsure of what to say. But it was Brier who answered. " _The odds are never in your favour_. Graffitied up on the Justice Building. You have to appreciate the irony of it."

 

"You didn't." Orna gasped.

 

"So do you think we'll be targeted?" I asked, but not wanting to hear the answer.

 

"You committed an act of treason. What did you think would happen?" Brier scoffed.

 

"But that doesn't make any sense." Orna frowned. "There was nothing set up about the reaping. I chose their names myself."

 

"And you can bet that every name in those bowls either say Haymitch or Maysilee." Brier said.

 

It was starting to hit me just how much of a target we had become.

 

"But they wouldn't do that." Orna protested. She paused for thought, then added, "Would they?" I wasn't expecting her to be so oblivious to everything. She clearly wasn't the smartest escort but I didn't think that she would be so ignorant to what was happening right under her nose. Orna was just another specimen brainwashed by the Capitol.

 

"So about our strategy?" Haymitch prompted.

 

Brier finished his mouthful, and washed it down with a large gulp of red wine before speaking. "Well, if I was you, I'd wait for the cannon to go off, run straight to the Cornucopia, close your eyes and wait for a Career to chop your pretty little heads straight off. But if you're that intent on playing the game, we will have to start off by doing something about your personalities."

 

"What's wrong with our personalities?" I gritted my teeth.

 

Brier raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Where do I start? Well, for one, you're both criminals. You're also rude, moody, hateful, irritating, sulks like a bitch... Shall I continue?"

 

"No, you're ok." Haymitch bared his teeth in a threatening smile.

 

"You're both fairly attractive but there's only so much that looks can make up for. So we're going to have to work on making you likeable." Brier thought carefully before turning to me. "You were dumped as a kid weren't you?"

 

"Yes." I answered, pushing my food around my plate.

 

Brier clapped his hands together, a big grin stretched across his face. "Great! Everybody loves a good sob story. Wait until the interview and rinse that gem dry."

 

I didn't feel comfortable talking about my abandonment, let alone telling my story to the whole of Panem. But I wasn't going to say this now, I was becoming too exhausted to start another argument, so I pursed my lips and kept silent until we had finished our meal.

 

"Here we go." Brier rubbed his hands together as they brought dessert out. "You'd never find anything like this in District 12. I have a lover in the Capitol who sends me some every now and then."

 

Haymitch frowned. "So, what you screw her, and she sends you cake?"

 

Brier's back shot straight, a defensive look appearing on his face. "Have you got a problem, Haymitch?"

 

Haymitch did the worst thing that he could have done in this situation, and burst into laughter. "No, no, I feel perfectly safe knowing that I'm in the protection of some glorified whore."

 

Brier was suddenly on his feet. For a minute I thought that he was going to throw himself across the table at Haymitch but he just stood there. His cheeks were burning and eyes smouldering. "You do not know the first thing about me!" He yelled before storming out of the carriage.

 

Orna was the first to break the seemingly everlasting silence. "Oh, dear." She said simply. "You probably shouldn't have said that."

 

"No I probably shouldn't have." Haymitch growled, stabbing into his cake.

 

~

 

We were soon sent to bed so that we would be bright and fresh for tomorrow's big event. It was the Tributes parade tomorrow where they make us up like dolls and parade us around for the Capitol to watch. It was just one more thing that we were going to have to endure during this experience.

 

After getting ready for bed, Haymitch slipped into my room, flicked off the lights and joined me in bed without saying a word. I snuggled up to him and took his hand in my own, as if we were back in my room in District 12. As if we had just got home from a hunt and we had school in the morning, where we were going to learn about where in a mine you would find coal. And in a few years time Haymitch would be down in the mines digging out the coal himself and if I'm lucky, I would be manning a stall at the Hob with all my pickings from the forest. And I'd probably get married to somebody for financial support. Once I turn 18, I get kicked out of the house and I would have no where to live unless I married someone, so that's what I would have to do. It never seemed like a bright future, but compared to the one that I was now facing, it was dazzling.

 

The moonlight seeped through the curtains, allowing me to see the outlines of Haymitch's face. His eyes were still open and I could tell that he was deep in thought. I knew what he was thinking about- Toby. And I knew that there was absolutely nothing that I could say that would ease his pain, so I stayed silent.

 

~

 

I ran. Fast. My feet pounding on sand. The same sand that was finding its way into my eyes and fighting for my sight. I couldn't remember how the chase begun, but I knew that I couldn't stop running. Somebody was behind me and if they caught me, I was dead. My breaths were rapid and shallow and each and every one excruciating. My throat was so raw that even a simple intake of air was like a fire igniting inside of me. My skin felt soaked as if I had just emerged from a lake but the taste of salt told me it was just sweat.

 

I took in my surroundings, looking for somewhere to take cover and escape from whoever was chasing me. The only cover that I could find was within the ruined stone walls in the distance. I realised that this was a Labyrinth; I had seen it before. I recognised this entire place to be an arena for the games from when I was little. It was one of the shortest games ever- only lasting for three days. It was a complete blood bath because the arena left the tributes so exposed. And if they were clever enough to hide, they died from dehydration because of the heat.

 

I was almost at the Labyrinth when my body had began to let go. My legs stumbled beneath me, and my arms hung limp at my sides, no longer able to wipe away the sweat dripping into my eyes. Suddenly, a force was pushing me to the ground and I had nothing left in me to fight it. I was rolled onto my back before a girl with short blonde hair and vile grin straddled me, pinning me to the floor. She grabbed my arms and crushed my wrists under her knees, ensuring that I wouldn't be able to fight back. Her fingers danced around my throat before clutching down on it. She looked into my eyes as I struggled for breath, my body helplessly twitching under her weight. She released her grip before I started to black out, then pushed back down again. Through the blur I could see the whites of her teeth baring in a smile. This was a game- she was the cat and I was the mouse. The strength I had was my speed, but now that she had caught me, the game was as good as over. I gasped as air started to return to my lungs. I coughed and splattered desperate for the oxygen that my body craved so badly. I managed to focus my sight back on the girl. She was drawing a knife out of her pocket and running it along the tip of her finger. Once satisfied that her knife was sharp enough, she wrapped her hand around my chin keeping my face still. She took the blade and ran it down my cheek. I felt the skin tear and I had clench my teeth together to hold back a scream. Unsatisfied with the outcome, the girl took the knife and plunged it deep into my leg. Suddenly, it was as if all I knew was pain. I didn't hold back this time and once I started to scream I couldn't stop. I had lost all of my dignity at once and had deteriorated into hysterics. I could just about hear her laugh as she returned to carving my face.

 

"NO! PLEASE!" I managed to yell, my voice hoarse and my words slurred. "NO!"

 

 

"Maysilee!"

 

 

I shot up in bed. I grabbed the sheets beneath me. I took in the décor of the train. The open door to the bathroom. Haymitch sitting beside me, his arms pulling me into his embrace.

 

"It was just a dream." I told myself, but not yet quite believing it. _I_ _'m on the train to the Capitol. Yesterday I was reaped. Today is the Tributes parade. In five days time I will be in the Hunger Games._

 

"It was just a dream." Haymitch repeated, his fingers now running through my hair, in a soothing motion. He waited until I regained my breath, until he spoke. "Talk to me about it, Sweetheart."

 

I didn't speak. I didn't want to talk about it. I preferred to just rest my head on his shoulder and enjoy the comfort and the safety that Haymitch could still offer, like a toddler clinging on to their dad.

 

But he took my silence as another indication to speak. To break my bubble of ignorance."The games, huh? Getting hunted down? Being ripped apart?"

 

"Yeah, something like that." I rubbed the remaining tears out of my eyes, collecting myself back together. "You get them too?"

 

"Every time I close my eyes." He admitted with a huff.

 

"Don't worry." I forced a smile, my bottom lip still wavering slightly, "I've got your back."

 

Haymitch just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that makes me feel much better."

 

I punched him on the arm lightly before resting my head back on the pillow. I knew there would be no way of brushing off my nightmare because it would be playing out in real life not before long. All it did was bring the truth to light. And all I could do now, was to accept it.

 

Haymitch also laid back down but was staring up at the ceiling, his teeth pulling at the broken skin of his lips. "You, know," I began.

 

"I don't want to talk about it." Haymitch cut me off, talking to the ceiling, his expression unchanged.

 

"I'm just saying..." I tried to explain myself.

 

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Maysilee." He snapped.

 

~

 

"Rise and shine."

 

My eyes flickered open to find Brier's face hovering inches above my own.

 

I jumped away from Haymitch who I had curled up with during the night and pushed myself up into a sitting position, ready to defend myself.

 

"What on Earth is going on?" Haymitch groaned rolling over to find Brier creepily beaming down at him. "For fuck sake." Groggily, he picked up one of the many excess (and unnecessary) pillows and held it over his face.

 

"Good morning to you, too." Brier laughed.

 

Was he still angry from last night, I asked myself. And had he had come here to get some kind of weird revenge? No. He actually looked genuinely cheery. Perhaps he had forgotten about the argument all ready.

 

"Quickly, get showered and dressed and then go to the dining cart for breakfast. If you thought dinner was good then you are in for a treat this morning. They usually have these little pastries full of chocolate. They are to die for. Really. Oh, and wear something a little more... jazzy. There will be crowds and cameras all looking at you as soon as you get off of this train. First impression at the Capitol. Don't screw it up." Brier instructed.

 

"Is that it?" I asked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

 

Brier hesitated. "One more thing. You're not... Are you?"

 

"Not what?" I sighed, knowing that whatever he was about to say would not be good.

 

"Romantically involved." He replied bluntly.

 

"We're engaged to be married." I said instantly.

 

I watched Brier's jaw drop. And regret fill his eyes. And then I heard the muffled laughter from the pillow next to me which gave my game away.

 

"Just screwing with you." I grinned.

 

A thousand emotions flashed across his face at the same time, as if he was unsure which one to chose. "It was just, Orna was worried about waking you up in case she saw anything that she'd regret."

 

Haymitch pushed the pillow off of his face and to the floor. "And naturally you volunteered straight away, you pervert.”

 

"Well I am only human at the end of the day." Brier shot a wink in our direction before leaving the room.

 

"I cannot keep up with that man." I stared at the door behind him.

 

Haymitch ripped the sheets back and pushed himself out of the bed. "Right then, better go _dress to impress_."

 

"Please never say that again." I cringed.

 

Haymitch smirked. "I'm sorry, but it's not my fault that I have a passion for fashion."

 

He left and shut the door behind him. Like every other time we've been in a situation, we made a joke out of it and messed around. But the difference was: this time it wasn't funny.

 

Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. Deciding to make the most out of the luxuries that the Capital had to offer while I still could, I jumped into the shower.

 

I quickly washed myself, not allowing any time for thought because all that I could think about was the games. But I decided that I would ask Brier more questions this morning, in hope of putting my mind at rest. But I had a feeling the only thing that Brier could put to rest was a corpse.

 

Once I had dried myself off I pulled on the black outfit that I wore yesterday. I considered doing what Brier suggested, but I couldn't bring myself to try to prove myself to these monsters.

 

~

 

"Well, you look underwhelming." Brier looked me up and down as I entered the dining cart.

 

In silence I made my way to the table that held a wide spread of food. It all looked so delicious and so foreign, and I just wanted to eat it all. I picked up a warm plate and started to pile it with pancakes, fruit, bacon, eggs and a few pastries on the side (including one of those chocolate ones Brier mentioned).

 

"Try the hot chocolate." Brier's voice came from behind me.

 

"Where's Orna." I asked, pouring myself a mug of the thick brown substance.

 

"She's in her room making herself look all pretty. Precisely what you should be doing." He reminded.

 

"Why? Don't you think I look pretty as I am?" I raised my eyebrows, as I took a seat at the table.

 

"Well, if we're being brutally honest..." He pulled a face as if to say, _I definitely wouldn't say so._ "Orna should be here soon though."

 

The door clicked open and we both looked around to find Haymitch, hair combed, and wearing a smart black suite. I don't know why I was so shocked by this sight. Its just, as someone who spends half of his time ranting on about the wrongs of the Capitol, I would have thought Haymitch would be the last to conform to their ways; to play fairly by the games.

 

"Now that's more like it." Brier clapped his hands together, probably in relief that one of us was listening to him. "You see that, Maysilee? Sleek and sexy, not horrible and homeless."

 

I watched Haymitch as he moved to the table of food, avoiding my eye contact for some reason. Once he had finished, he took his seat next to me but I noticed the proximity between us was slightly larger than last night. And that's when it hit me- would the games be the wedge between us? Would we even be friends by the time we got into the games?

 

"One thing that I can say about the two of you is that you have an incredible appetite." Brier watched us eat with a mixture of impress and disgust.

 

"So when we get into the games, the canons fired, what's our first move?" I asked, remembering our priorities.

 

Brier sighed as if I had asked him to do anything but his supposed job. "Well, let me guess. The two of you are going to want to team up?"

 

"Yes." Haymitch answered immediately, with a hint of annoyance.

 

"Of course you are." Brier sighed.

 

I gritted my teeth. I already hated the way that he moaned about something without actually telling anyone what he was moaning about. "Is there a problem with that?"

 

"Well, seeing that there's only one survivor, and there's two of you, I'm going to say there's a very big problem. Saying that you make it out of the Cornucopia alive, I've never seen an alliance end sweetly before. One minute they're all buddies, then they start to get twitchy, and then suddenly there goes the knife in your back."

 

"Are you saying that I would betray Haymitch?" I felt my cheeks start to burn, infuriated by his accusation.

 

"Not off the cuff, no. But the games play mind tricks on you; they make you paranoid. But you're not my main worry. You're stupid enough... Sorry I meant stubborn enough to be unconditionally loyal. Haymitch on the other hand would sell you out for a packet of chocolate biscuits. You can see it in his eyes."

 

A thud echoed through the room. Haymitch had driven his knife straight through the table cloth and into the grain of the mahogany table. His fingers were still wrapped tightly around the handle as if he was ready to withdraw it and jam it into Brier's neck; his face red and his eyes unblinking. "How dare you?" He yelled, teeth barred. "It doesn't matter what happens, I would never.. _never_ let anyone hurt her! And that's including myself!"

 

Brier was wrong. Sure, alliances have always had a bitter ending in the games before. But there's never been real friends in the games before. The alliances are formed out of fear, not out of love, so why wouldn't you betray them if it meant your life? We were different. We had history. Haymitch is like my brother and I'm like his sister. We could never do anything to hurt each other like that.

 

"Oh dear." I turned to find Orna, her eyes wide and her delicate hands cupping her gaping mouth. "That was a brand new table. But never mind. It's ok. It's all ok." She said, reassuring herself mostly. "What happened here?"

 

"Brier said that Haymitch would betray me for, what was it? A packet of chocolate biscuits?" I told her.

 

"Oh, you didn't! Brier, you are truly terrible." Orna squeaked.

 

"You don't know the half of it." Brier drooled, shooting a seductive wink at her. Orna suddenly fell into her seat in a fit of giggles, her cheeks blushing extraordinarily. And just like that, she was on his side.

 

I was getting sick of this. The games were quickly approaching and all we were getting out of Brier was insults and sarcasm. And that's when I erupted. "You're our Mentor, God damn it! Do your job! Stop telling us what you think we will do, or what we shouldn't do, tell us what we have to do to survive! You're not smart and you're not funny and I hate the fact that my life is in your hands, but it is! So do something about it!"

 

He just sat there staring at me, his expression stern. And alike the Peacekeeper at the whipping post, I had to keep my eye contact. I had to show him that I meant it and that I wasn't the weak little girl that he all ready thought I was.

 

"Well," Brier begun, his eyes fixed on me. "Let's take it a day at a time, shall we, Honey? Today is the day of the tribute parade. We get to the tribute centre, you get your make-up done, you get changed and then you get on the chariots. All you have to do is stand on the chariot and not fall off. Easy peasy, even for you. Now here comes the hard bit: you have to be pleasant. You wave and you smile because that's how you get sponsors and that's how you survive in the games. Do you think you can manage that, Maysilee?"

 

"Yes." I replied.

 

"Have I completed my job to a satisfactory rate for you?" If he woke up in a civil mood, we had definitely changed that now.

 

"Yes."

 

Orna stood up and rushed over to the window like an excited school kid. "Look at that, we're here all ready. Time flies when you're… _Having fun_. Oh, isn't the Capitol beautiful?"

 

And it was. The city was built of skyscrapers and architectural masterpieces as far as the eye could see. It was like looking across an ocean of marble, so beautiful that it was too easy to forget about the dangers. I craned my neck to get a final glimpse of the Capitol before we plunged back into darkness. We sat in silence until we emerged out of the end of the tunnel and into the train station. Like Brier had said there were swarms of people gathered to greet us, to welcome us to their city. Every single citizen of the Capitol looked just like Orna with flamboyant dresses, brightly coloured hair and tattoos masking their faces. It was safe to say that they were not afraid of surgical enhancements; a freakishly small nose here, disproportionately large lips there. Seeing that the people of the Capitol were supposedly the happiest people in Panem, I found it weird how they felt the need to change everything about themselves.

 

The train was slowing down to a halt so we could see everyone clearly and they could see us. They were jumping up and down, waving their hands and grinning, trying to get our attention. I wondered if any of them really saw the games for what they were? If they realised they were smiling about our suffering? If they were routing for the child who they thought would turn into the most brutal murderer? Had they become so desensitised that this is now classed as normal?

 

I hated the way they were all gawking at us through the window as if we were an exhibition at a zoo. I turned to Haymitch for comfort but he was no longer there. Instead, he was up at the window, waving and I could see in his reflection that he was wearing the same seductive half-smile that he used when talking to Alisia.

 

"Maysilee, do something." He hissed through a forced smile.

 

The suit I could accept, but this? Not so much. He was now grovelling to the people who he has been moaning about since he learnt how to speak. And now he was asking me to do the same and please the crowd. I just thought he would have more morals... More dignity than this. I just thought that I knew him better.

 

"Come on then, off we go!" Orna singsonged, ushering us to the exit once the train had come to a complete stop.

 

"What was that?" I asked Haymitch once we were away from the windows.

 

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Oh, come on Sweetheart."

 

That only made it worse. But before I had time to reply, we were off of the train and Haymitch was wearing his mask again. So was Brier. Orna too. If this was the way to get sponsors, then I didn't want any. I've survived perfectly well without the Capitol's help so far, and I will continue to do the same. Haymitch can do what he wants and he can treat me as stupid if he likes, if it makes the shame any less heavy on his shoulders. But I'm not going to support it.

 

A red carpet was laid out from the train to the road where a shiny black car was parked. On either side of the carpet, fans and reporters lined up, trying to get our attention.

 

"Remember," Brier hissed from behind us, "big smiles and play nice."

 

"Haymitch!" A small group of girls screamed, fanning themselves and giggling. Haymitch walked up to one of the girls; she was wearing a pink wig, looked a couple of years younger than myself and was truly beautiful. She looked up at him, smiling shyly, as he took her hand and bought it up to his lips. As soon as he turned his back, her friend jumped on her and dragged her into celebratory hugs.

 

"Oh my God, Effie! I'm so jealous!" One of them squealed.

 

In the districts, tributes are treated with pity. Here they are treated like stars.

 

The stretch to the car seemed never ending. Even though, unlike Haymitch, I wasn't stopping for anyone, it seemed like I was on the carpet for longer than the mere three minutes that I actually was. As I got closer to the car I had to pass a pen of reporters with hundreds of flashing cameras and notepads which half-truths were being scribbled down on. They called my name and beaconed me over. And I was doing a good job at ignoring them until I heard one ask, "Maysilee, why do you look so grumpy on such an exciting day?"

 

At this I spun on my heels and stared at the accusing reporter. I held a moment of stillness that could only be read as intimidating.

 

"You're asking me why I look so grumpy?" I asked, my tone deadly. "Are you seriously..." I begun but was interrupted by Brier wrapping his arm around me in a friendly embrace.

 

"No, no she's not grumpy, just tired. Long journey and little sleep isn't my favourite combination either." He laughed. "So I'm very thankful to be back in the Capitol. God, I've missed this beautiful place! Beautiful place, full of beautiful people."

 

"Will you be meeting up with your girlfriend, pop singer, Jewels Songbird?" One of the reporters asked Brier.

 

He laughed again and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry to say that there is nothing going on with me and Jewels. You know me, I'm not exactly the settling down type."

 

_The faithful type more like_ , I thought.

 

"No," he continued. "Well, the way I see it is, why stick to one dish when you can try the whole menu?"

 

_Charming._

 

"Brier, what do you think of your tributes this year? Do you see potential?" Another reporter asked.

 

"I do. In fact I think that this years winner could be on this very carpet right now." Brier said. I wondered if any of what he was saying was true and if so I wondered which one of us he meant. "The fact they got thrown in with their best friend- and I don't exaggerate when I say that. I've never met two people so close, they even finish each other's sentences. But it's a terrible shame. However, I think that this is the perfect drive to win the games. And we've never had these dynamics between tributes in the games before... Ever. So it's going to be very interesting to watch, I think. And what can I say about Maysilee and Haymitch. Well, they're both lovely and caring people but they both definitely have their fiery side. And look how pretty they both are." Brier grabbed my cheek between his finger and thumb, the way that grandparents do, and instantly I heard the clicks of cameras. I have to force myself to smile and not bat his hand away, knowing that it would be better to keep him on our side and that rejecting his "help" now would mean the end of our fragile understanding.

 

After making an excuse and another joke that sent the reporters into fits of giggles, Brier escorted me towards the car, his arm still tightly wrapped around my hip. As we got to the car the chauffer opened the door for us and we climbed in, shortly followed by Orna. Haymitch was the last to arrive. We watched him take pictures and flirt with all ready captivated fans. He flaunted himself arrogantly down the carpet until Brier had to jokingly drag him into the car, giving the audience a show.

 

Soon I was on the road to the justice building with my impressionable escort Orna, my changeable mentor Brier and my lifelong friend Haymitch who I loved unconditionally but didn't know the first thing about.

 


	4. Rain On Your Parade

I stood alone in my prep room in the Training centre. I was happy when we were told that Haymitch and I would be prepared separately because I couldn't face him silently any longer. But now I wished that he was here with me more than anything. My prep team was running late so I was left alone in this sparkling white room. It looked too clean to be real. I caught my reflection in the mirror that stretched across the back wall and was uncomfortable by how out of place I looked in there, standing in just a white bath robe. I paced a couple times before taking a seat on the edge of the large white beautician chair.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long until three young girls swarmed into the room and pulled me into an over enthusiastic group hug.

"Errm... Hi." I said, unsure what to do with my arms.

"Hi there, you must be Maysillee." One of them said, in a ridiculously high pitch voice. She was tiny in size with ginger curly hair, freckles and the eyes of a tiger. And the two others looked completely identical, they were even wearing the same clothes.

"I'm Rosa." She introduced herself.

"I'm Rosy." Said another.

"And I'm Rosan." Said the last. "And we're going to be your prep team!"

"Yay!"

"How exciting?"

Great, that's not confusing at all.

"We've been told to make you look all hot…"

"And fiery."

Yeah, they literally finished each other's sentences.

"So just pop your robe off."

"So we can take a look at the damage." One of them, I think it was Rosy, giggled.

"What?" I felt my eyebrows shoot into my hairline.

"Just take your robe off." Rosa smiled, sweetly, oblivious to my objection.

"I'm not stripping in front of complete strangers." I rejected.

The three of them froze like a deer in headlights before glancing nervously at one another. "But we're not strangers. We're your prep team." Rosy squeaked.

"What's my favourite colour?" I asked, trying to make a point.

"Pink?" Rosy guessed.

"No."

"Purple?"

"No."

"Gold?"

"Please stop guessing." I accidentally snapped, but smiled politely to try and reassure her. "I'm not taking this robe off. The end."

They returned to the nervous glancing before Rosan made a decision. "Ok, well let's start by waxing your legs."

"Fine." I agreed, feeling guilty. They were treating me with kindness and I was just making their job harder for them. So I did as they told me and sat in the chair and tried to smile which seemed to cheer them up slightly. They came back with a white strip which they placed on my leg. The strip felt hot and sticky.

"What is this?" I asked.

"It's a waxing strip." One of them answered, I had all ready lost track of who's who.

"And what does it do?"

"It removes the hair from your body." Another answered.

"Why would you want to do that?" I asked.

"So you don't look like a yeti!" I think it was Rosy who said this.

I frowned. "Do... Do I look like a yeti?"

They burst out in laughter which couldn't be a good thing.

"Ready?" They asked in unison.

"For what?"

Suddenly, they ripped the strip off, leaving a patch of my skin bare and red roar. I doubled over in pain and even felt a tear accumulating in my eyes. "Oh! My! God!" I screamed, jumping out of the chair.

"Woah! It's ok, you'll get used to it." One of them reached out soothingly.

"Just sit back down."

"No. No way." I shook my head.

"Now you know what you're expecting, the rest will be a doddle. I promise."

"Please."

"No." I repeated, firmly.

"Well you can't walk around like that, can you?" Rosan(?) pointed at my hairless patch. She had a point, it looked a little ridiculous but I wasn't going through that pain again. I was happy with my legs the way that they were.

"Can we just leave it?" The one that I decided to be Rosa, asked her sisters.

"We can ask Fennal." Rosan shrugged.

"Who's Fennal?" I butted into their conversation.

"Your stylist." Rosy told me

After a few more words were exchanged, Rosan left the room in search of Fennal (whoever he may be).

"How about we brush your hair while we wait!" Rosa suggested.

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Rosy clapped her hands in delight and set off for the hair brush. I sat back down in the chair again so that they could tend to my hair. They tugged through my knots as lightly as they could and kept complimenting me on the thickness of my hair, only making me feel guilty again.

"I've never met triplets before." I tried at a casual conversation to defuse the tension. "You are triplets, right?"

"Yeah." Rosy laughed.

"Must have been a nightmare for your Mum." I joked.

"Well, she did chose to have triplets so she brought it on herself, really." Rosa said.

"Wait, she chose to have triplets? You can't decide who you give birth to, can you?" I asked.

"Of course you can!" Rosy and Rosa exchanged a glance. If my prep team, of all people, thought that I was stupid, then things couldn't be good. "When are you living? In the dark ages?"

"In District 12," I answered. "But there's not too much difference." I don't know why I was so shocked by this. I should have really expected it from the Capitol. But everything about it just seemed wrong, as if all of these people were born fake. I thought nature and fate should determine your child's gender or how many kids you have, and this just seemed like playing God.

"But doesn't it make it not as special- by choosing? It sounds more like buying bread from the market, than having a baby." I asked.

"Well, it's not very special at all if you've always wanted a girl but have a boy instead." Rosa explained, but it still wasn't a good enough answer in my opinion.

They weren't long finished with my hair when Rosan walked back through the door, followed by a large man wearing a security uniform and Brier. The sight of our new company alone made my stomach turn. I was already regretting being so stubborn. Seriously, was my smooth legs so much of a big deal that they had to call for backup?

"You told on me?" I accused Rosan, half joking, half really not.

"Actually I told Fennal and then Fennal told on you." Rosan cringed. And that's how I hated my stylist before I had even met him.

"Maysilee, are you trying to give me an aneurysm?" Brier crossed his arms over his chest. I could see that he was biting the inside of his cheek, trying to contain his anger. "What's wrong with you? Why can't you ever just do as you're told?"

"Troubled child?" I offered with an awkward laugh, when I realised that he was waiting for an answer.

Brier's face contorted and he echoed my laugh bitterly. "Ok, Honey, I have had it up to here with you. So this is your last chance. You're going to shut up, you're going to sit on that chair, and you're going to do whatever your lovely little prep team tell you to do. Understand?"

"Or what?" I had to ask, more out of interest than anything.

He gestured to the security guard. "Then he will be giving you a little helping hand. So, are you going to behave yourself?"

"Yes." I gritted my teeth.

Brier then turned to Rosan. "What was it that she's been refusing to do?"

Rosan fidgeted, obviously feeling awkward. "Errm... Well, she didn't want to take her robe off or be waxed."

"Maysilee, take off your robe." Brier instructed.

All eyes were on me now. "But…"

"Do it." He snapped. When I didn't move he made a show out of covering his eyes and reassured me, "I'm not looking."

I looked over at the security guard and wondered just how far that helping hand would stretch. But I wasn't taking any chances. "Turn around." I told him, which he did. Quickly, I whipped my robe off (using the band aid logic) and handed it to Rosa who folded it up and placed it on the rack.

Brier removed his hands from his eyes and I swiftly attempted to cover up the more private parts of my body, but he made a point of looking me in the eye and no where else. "Good. Now, what's the problem with the waxing?"

"It hurts." I explained, cringing at how childish it sounded.

He raised one freshly plucked eyebrow. "Yeah, you're not going to enjoy the games. Look, I don't care if they want to pluck out every hair on your body, one at a time, you let them do it. Now, can I go get on with what I'm supposed to be doing?" Brier asked me accusingly, but I kept my lips pressed tightly together.

"Thank you." Rosan said, indicting that he could leave.

Brier paused in the door, looked back at me and then to the security guard. "Perhaps you should wait outside." He suggested.

We were then left alone; suddenly the talkative triplets didn't have much to talk about leaving an uncomfortable silence to engulf the room. Without a word, they returned to waxing my legs. This time I tried not to moan or squirm around, instead I dug my fingers into the arm rest and sat it out. I even stifled a sigh when they started on my arms as well.

Surprisingly, I was the first to break the tension. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause any problems."

Almost too quickly, all three of their expressions turned from deep frowns to wide excited grins.

"Don't be silly!"

"We totally understand!"

"You must be very emotional right now, what with suddenly being told that you're going into the games." What she said was true, but by the tone of her voice, I could tell that she regarded being chosen as tribute as something very exciting.

"Yeah. I am." I admitted.

"And I'm sure you're going to be even more emotional still when I tell you that it's time for your eyebrows." Rosa laughed, leaning over me with tweasers at the ready.

"Yeah, you're right about that." I laughed nervously. But thankfully, after having my entire body waxed, my eyebrows being plucked was just a droplet in a sea of pain.

When I stood up I caught my reflection in the mirror; all red and smooth. "I look like a tomato." I complained which only set them laughing again.

"Don't worry this will make the redness go away." Rosan reassured me, gesturing to a bath in which she was pouring liquids of different colours. I was starting to wonder if they were even going to supervise my bath but, to my relief, they said that I could wash myself.

After, they started styling my hair. They did my hair into large curls that sat on my shoulders, full of volume and life. They then took two strands of hair from either side of my head and clipped both together around the back. Next was my make-up, which seemed more like a mask than an enhancement. They caped on a concealer that matched my skin tone and then a couple of layers of foundation until I could no longer see the natural colour of my skin. What they did with my eyes interested me the most. They started by painting my eyelashes and the base of my lids black with specks of charcoal. Above this, shrieks of red and orange blended out from the black and up to my eyebrows, like a coal fire. Every year, the stylists dress up the tributes in a costume inspired by their districts. Which means that I would either be looking like coal, fire or a minor. Neither of which being particularly flattering.

"Have you seen what I'm wearing?" I asked.

"No ones seen it." Rosy started to squirm with excitement at the thought of my clothes.

"It's top secret."

Finding out what I would have to wear was a surprise that I didn't want to wait for. Some of the outfits that I had seen in the past have been horrific and simply degrading. And it wasn't like I was going to be able to negotiate my way out of wearing it if it was that bad, not after the commotion I had all ready caused since we'd been here. Brier had made that clear enough.

"What's Fennal like?" I asked, hoping that they would be able to tell me that he wasn't going to be as bad as I had all ready judged him to be. But they didn't.

"Well, he's... He's dedicated to his work." Rosa chose her words carefully.

"You don't like him do you?" I asked.

"It's not that we don't like him." Rosy started to blush, obviously finding it difficult to be negative about something.

"But he's not our favourite person." Rosan finished.

"Great." I sighed.

 

~

 

It wasn't long before I got to meet Fennal myself and alike the triplets, he wasn't my favourite person.

"So you must be Fennal, the stylist." I said.

Fennal was a podgy man with white hair and one too many plastic surgeries. He wore a spotless, pure white suite and a small pair of glasses which sat at the end of his nose. He also wore gloves which at first I thought was a fashion statement, but by the way that he was looking at me, I started to think he was scared of catching germs that I had contracted in my poor home, District 12. "And you must be Maysillee, the nuisance." He said in a disproving tone. "As you stated my name is Fennal, and I will be your stylist for the duration up to the games. I will be in charge of how you will look and dress when you are presented in public. Now, would you mind taking your rode off again, or am I going have to call the security guard back in?"

"No, you're ok." I gritted my teeth, dropping my robe to the floor.

He paced around me, looking me up or down as if I were a problem that he had been sent to fix. He got his measuring tape out a couple of times and tutted a few more. Eventually he said, in his condescending tone, "I'll have to make a few tweaks to your outfit but mostly everything is in order." He then left through two large double doors leaving me wondering if he wanted me to follow him or stay here. Deciding that I didn't care what he wanted, I perched myself on one of the sofas that stretched across the room in a curve. I was left alone for a fair amount of time; eventually I started listing everything in the room in alphabetical order just to keep my mind away from thoughts that I couldn't handle at that moment. I had only got to mirror when Fennal emerged back through the door, this time wheeling a dummy with my costume on it, beside him.

"Glorious isn't it?" Fennal remarked, placing it on the raised platform in the centre of the room and taking a step back.

"It's a crappy old minors jumpsuit." I answered. And that's exactly was it was. The only difference was that it was tighter and designed to accentuate my curves. The bottom of the legs and sleeves and been seemingly burned off up to the top of my thighs and elbows making it only impractical.

Fennal took a sharp intake of disjointed air before shaking his head in disgust. "What do you know?"

"I know it's a crappy old minors jumpsuit." I also knew that I was pushing my luck.

He just glared at me before unzipping the outfit and holding it out to me. "Put it on." He ordered.

I did as he said and pulled it on. I looked in the mirror and all I could see was a minor who had been involved in an accident. Not something glamorous, but just another tragedy like the ones to I was too used to seeing living in our District. He circled me again making a few adjustments to the jumpsuit. He grabbed the zip which I had securely done up to the top and zipped it down to just above my belly button so that an extravagant amount of cleavage was on display. After my trying to reason with him, he even sewed my zip in for assurance. Once he was satisfied that my clothes looked ok he brought out a variation of our work boots. He had managed to turn the minors toe capped black boots into sexy platforms. I wondered to myself if the people of the Capitol would like this look or if they would find it as ridiculous as I did.

"Are we done here?" I asked, bluntly.

"Thankfully, yes."

 

~

 

The first time I saw Haymitch since the car was just before the parade. I was standing behind the chariot while my prep team topped up my make-up and squealed about how pretty I looked.

"I'm so excited!" Rosy jumped up and down.

"Oh, you look so beautiful."

"They're going to love you!" Rosa added.

Fennal stood behind them, glaring.

I looked up to see Haymitch, and what I assumed to be his prep team and stylist, making their way towards our chariot. He was wearing the same as myself, just a more masculine version. He shrugged uncomfortably, trapped within the material.

"I heard you've been causing a spot of bother, sweetheart." Haymitch smirked, as he reached me.

"Who told you that?" I asked.

"Everyone. You've become quite the subject of gossip here, all ready." Haymitch said, disapprovingly.

"Well, you know me," I shrugged. "I always like to make an entrance."

"This isn't District 12 any more." Haymitch reminded me as if I had forgotten. "You have to be careful."

Even though I hadn't forgotten about Haymitch's behaviour earlier on, it was a massive relief that we were talking relatively normally.

I laid my finger on his bare chest that peaked out between his open jump suit. "Did they wax your chest?"

"Don't." He warned.

I burst into laugher, attracting unwanted attention from other tributes. "Oh my god, it's like a babies bottom." I said a little more quietly, Haymitch throwing my hand away. Cheeks flushed, he tried to pull his suit together but his stylist came running over to pull it apart again.

"Where's Brier?" I asked, looking around. "Isn't he supposed to be here by now?"

"It's called being fashionably late, my dear tributes." Embarrassingly, I jumped out of my skin. I turned around to find Brier standing directly behind me. With a satisfied smile, he stepped back to take in our new looks. "Wow, lookie here. You look like something out of a District 12 themed porno."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Haymitch decided, looking from his jumpsuit to mine.

"Ok, here's what you're going to do." Brier begun. "You're going to stand on these Chariots and you're going to hold hands or something soppy like that. Your friendship is the best card we've got at the moment and it's a damn powerful one. If we play this right, you're going to turn a lot of heads. So when you get on that chariot, keep some sort of physical contact at all times. Also, at least pretend you're having a good time. Smile, wave, just don't- and I'm talking to you, Maysilee, when I say this- don't be disrespectful. If they can see you don't like them, then they're not going to like you. And why do we need people to like you? Altogether now!" He waved his hands as if he were conducting an orchestra.

"To get sponsors." Haymitch and I groaned in unison.

Brier smiled with false surprise. "Ah, so you do listen to me."

"But if that's..." I started to explain to Brier why I didn't want their charity, but of course I was cut off.

"Yeah, yeah I know. I hate the Capitol, I'd rather die before pretending to be a pleasant person." Brier impersonated me. "But the thing is your best friend here, the person you claim to be like a brother to you, does want to win the games. And he's smart enough to know how to do it. So you go out there and smile or you get Haymitch killed. Do you want to get Haymitch killed?"

"No, but..." I blurted out.

"Good, neither do I." Brier interrupted me yet again. "Now get your perky little arse on the chariot and don't stop smiling until you get back to the Tribute centre. And as for you Haymitch, carry on as you were this morning. I loved the whole flirty arrogant persona, you didn't have to reach far for that, did you? Just be smart."

"I always am." Haymitch quirked his eyebrow, jumping onto the chariot next to me. I was going to point out that it was our stupidity that got us here in the first place but I guessed that nobody would find that funny considering the situation.

"You ready?" Haymitch asked me once Brier and the rest of our team were out of earshot.

"No." I admitted. "You?"

"Definitely not." He huffed out a laugh before holding out the palm of his hand, with which I slid my own into.  
The large doors cranked open and the parade begun. The horses automatically started moving one by one, district by district, ours being the last to move. Looking around, I quickly realised that we weren't the worse dressed there which made me feel slightly better.

We emerged outside in the streets of the Capitol where everyone had gathered to watch our chariots roll past. Cameras hovered everywhere and large screens were placed on the end of every street displaying a live feed of the event. It was a lot like this morning but on an insanely bigger scale. Everywhere I looked there were people applauding or waving or even screaming. And I smiled and waved back.

"Well, this is your opportunity to kill President Snow." I joked, remembering the night before the reaping, looking up at the stars.

Haymitch laughed. "Excuse me, while I just somersault off of the chariot and go all ninja on his arse."

"I didn't know you were a ninja." I waved at an overly excited family, who was all wearing matching Hunger Games merchandise.

"Yeah, I went to ninja night school. But we're not allowed to tell civilians though because it's top-secret. But we'll both be dead soon so I can't see much harm in it." He explained before shooting a wink out to the audience.

"What a cheerful thought?" As we went over a bump in the road I almost lost my balance. I turned to Haymitch and we both started laughing at the idea of me falling out of the carriage. He placed a firm arm around my hip, keeping me from falling, just in case. All the screens were on the back of us now and the crowd erupted in "awww"s at our embrace. Brier was right, they loved this stuff.

After seven more blocks of this, the nerves ran out and boredom sat in. "How much longer is there of this? The muscles in my cheeks are starting to hurt."

"Smiling must be such a culture shock to your poor suffering face." Haymitch dead panned. "But I know what you mean, my arms are starting to go numb from all of this waving."

"I wonder if this is the end?" I nodded towards the next turning.

Haymitch thought for a moment before proposing, "I bet you my dessert that this won't be the last street."

"The whole dessert?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yep."

"Fine. You're on."

Sure enough, we turned around the corner and there it was, Snow's mansion. President Snow himself stood on the marble steps smiling slightly. The Chariots circled the court a couple of times before coming to a halt.

"I'm looking forward to my extra portion of dessert. I hope it's that chocolate cake again. That was good." I taunted.

"All right, don't look so smug." Haymitch scolded, but his half-smile betrayed him.

President Snow started on his speech which echoed through Panem. He gestured animatedly while keeping his regal posture. Still, his words went through one ear and out of the other. I no longer had any time for this man or anything that he had to say. Instead, I was busy looking at what everyone else was wearing. It was safe to say that District 11 was the worst dressed there; one was dressed as a stick of celery and the other a potato. And they both looked utterly miserable.

Haymitch, on the other hand, was fully consumed with whatever President Snow was saying, only breaking his concentration to whisper, "Bullshit." Or a different accusation.

Once the speech was over, there was a deafening applause and our chariots set into motion again taking us back to the Training Centre. As soon as the doors were shut behind us our team rushed to surround our chariot.

"Oh, that was just brilliant! Bravo! I had my doubts about you but I knew that you would be able to pull it off. I'm so proud of you both." Orna pulled us into a hug which the triplets joined, with or without invitation. I had never given Orna much credit, but besides my prep team, she looked positively genius. She pulled away, gave us both a look of overwhelming happiness, and turned to our stylists. "Fennal, Demitri! I don't how you do it. Oh, just look at these outfits. You take a Ruby in the rough and you turn them into diamonds, you really do."

"What can I say? God has blessed me with a talent and I intend to share it with the world." Fennal smirked, smugly. Even Demitri, his partner, was now cringing.

"Lucky us." Haymitch smiled passive aggressively.

"Did you enjoy the parade?" I asked the triplets before anyone could scold Haymitch. I also asked for the same reason people talk to babies once in a short while: to keep them entertained and feeling loved and from crying and chucking their milk across the room.

"I loved it!" Rosy clapped her hands together in excitement.

"I had so much fun!" Rosa agreed.

"Who was your favourite tribute?" I asked, an unexpected smile emerging on my face.

"You, silly!" Rosy poked me with her piano finger.

"Really?" I asked.

"You were by far the prettiest one there." Rosan said. "And your personality came across so well."

"Well, thanks." I had to remind myself that I didn't care, to stop me from blushing.

"Brier!" Orna called across the room, interrupting our conversation. Her eyes were piercing into Brier who was standing next to District five's chariot and talking to their beautiful blonde mentor. He glanced at us before making an excuse and jogging up to us. 

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I think you really might ought to be with your tributes right now." Orna told Brier who didn't even look like he was pretending to listen.

Brier instead turned to me, his head tilted slightly and his lips turned up at the edges. "Well look at that. She does smile."

 

~

 

Soon, we were ushered into an elevator made of glass. Orna pressed the button that read 12 and we shot up, watching the people below us turn into ants.

We arrived in a stately room where on one side a dining area was set up, and on the other side was a large television with plenty of sofas and armchairs surrounding it.

"This will be your home up until the games." Orna gestured around her. "Brier and I will be staying here with you. Bedrooms and toilets are just down the corridor there. Why don't you both get ready for dinner now?"

We did as she said and followed Orna to our rooms. As soon as the door shut behind me, I stripped the jumpsuit off and jumped straight into the shower to wash the Capitol's mask off of my face. Even once my hair had lost its final curl, I still didn't feel like the girl from District 12. And I wanted more than anything to be her again. I knew from the beginning that the games would change me but not in the way my team had intended. They were trying to mould me into another playing piece for the Capitol's side. And I was beginning to let them, what with my behaviour at the parade. I was only trying to prove my friendship to Haymitch, to try and make his load a little lighter. And I became the person that Brier wanted me to be, that the audience wanted me to be. But I sure as Hell didn't want to be that person.

With that thought, I hit the off button on the shower, grabbed a towel and stormed into my bedroom. On my bed, a frilly green dress had been laid out, presumably by Orna. I was going to just ignore it and find something different in the wardrobe, but I couldn't even comprehend how to open the thing. Once in the dress, I looked in the mirror and I couldn't help but laugh at what I saw. I looked like a dolly the wealthier district 12 children would own. I got closer to the mirror, taking in how I looked, and rested my fingers on the cool glass. Suddenly, I was gone and a projection of the city had replaced me. Hundreds of colours rushing about, bright lights shining from every direction. I tapped again and the city was replaced by mountains. Once more and I was in a forest. It was just like the one Haymitch and I hunted in- from the type of trees to the type of patchy grass. I was home again. I watched as a young stag emerged from the tree line. He stopped and glanced around before starting to graze on a patch of grass. I thought about how beautiful and delicate the stag was. And I thought about if I was there in person, I would have taken it down by now, because that's what I had to do to survive. And I couldn't help but compare that to the games.

"Maysilee." Orna singsonged through the door before letting herself in. "Oh, you look beautiful. I saw that dress and I thought that would look wonderful on you. And look at that, I was right!"

"Thank you." I laughed weakly.

"Dinners about to be served, so if you're ready, we'll make our way to the dining table." She said, leading the way.

Starters was already laid out. This time it was a salad with a sweet dressing on top. Orna and I was the last to arrive at the table. The usual suspects were there- Haymitch and Brier. But it also turned out our stylists and prep teams would be dining with us tonight.

"So how long have you been married?" Orna asked Fennal and Demitri, who were apparently not only business partners.

"Too long." Demitri mouthed silently, giving Fennal a wink to show he was only joking.

"We've been together seven years but this may be that last if he continues like that." Fennal answered bitterly, his jaw clenched in anger.

"Oh, come on. I was just making a joke." Demitri shook his head in frustration.

"You always embarrass me in public." Fennal slammed his knife down, his cheeks turning an unhealthy shade of red.

"Jesus, give me strength." Demitri sighed, before shoving a large fork of salad into his mouth.

"You're very happy together, I see." Haymitch sniggered into his plate.

"You bet." Demitri said through his mouthful.

"Finish eating before you start speaking! For pity's sake, Demitri!" Fennal looked as if he were about to explode.

"So, what about the three of you?" Brier leaned over towards the triplets, his lips pulled up into a seductive smirk. "Are any of you living in paradise or are you unattached like myself." His arrogance was almost sickening. But the triplets seemed to think otherwise. As if on cue, they reached up to shade their mouth and started giggling in unison.

"Single and ready to mingle." Rosa chirped.

"All of you?" Brier asked and they all nodded. "Well, lucky me."

"Perhaps we should talk about Haymitch and Maysillee?" Orna chirped up, her eyes flickering from Brier to her dinner, undeniably jealous.

But we did talk about us all the way through starters and then mains, only stopping a couple of times for Brier to flirt, or the stylists to argue, or the prep team to chat about what colours were in fashion. It was said that the next three days would be devoted to training, the third day where we show off our skills to the gamemakers. They will then give us a score out of 10 which will be what sways the public's sponsors. It will also determine if the career group are going to target us or not.

"You don't want to come across weak, but it's just as dangerous if the careers see you as a threat." Brier explained. "Unless you are both superhuman, or at least skilful enough to scare them off, it's better to stick under the radar. Just hope they forget about you. And remember, don't give your game away. In the arena, you need your strengths to use against them, so what good is it if they all ready know your plan of attack? What I'm asking you, simple and plain, in training, do not show off. Focus on the areas you haven't tried before; make some knots, shoot a bow, get artistic. Just don't show them your knife throwing."

We nodded in agreement before mopping up the last of our dinner. As soon as we finished, the young woman who had been serving us all night appeared and was already removing our plates. As she picked up Haymitch's plate, something happened and the plate and its contents went cluttering down to the floor. Haymitch immediately bent down to help her.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Fennal rose out of his chair in heated rage. "What's wrong with you, girl? Don't think you're boss won't be hearing about this! Haymitch, get off of the floor, she doesn't deserve your help."

Haymitch squared up in his seat, enough to look threatening but not aggressive. "It was just one plate. There's no need to yell at her."

Fennal laughed in disgust. "Do you know what she is, boy?"

"A girl." Haymitch answered.

"An avox! A traitor to the Capitol!" Fennal added when Haymitch didn't react.

"They cut out their tongues and then they use them as slaves." Brier said pointedly, whether he was just trying to tell Haymitch to stop or if he was telling us because we were also known traitors to the Capitol.  
Whatever the point, it was enough to make Haymitch silent. He fell back into his chair and starred into his lap. Haymitch was silent for the rest of the dinner, only moving to scoff down his dessert before I tried to eat it.

 

~

 

"Haymitch." I whispered, before letting myself into his room. We had planned to sleep in his room that night, even though Orna had made it clear that she would be more comfortable if we had slept in our own beds. But I couldn't be alone right now and I could tell Haymitch felt the same.

When I entered, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in one hand and a bottle in the other. He looked up at me his eyes glassy and his lips parted.

"Hey, are you all right?" I asked cautiously.

"How did we get here, Maysilee?" He asked, staggering to a stand.

"Stupid decisions." I extended an arm to steady him.

"I'm not stupid, sweetheart." He said, condescendingly.

"I didn't say you were." I reached out for the bottle as he brought it to his lips. "Perhaps that's not the best idea." I suggested.

"Don't tell me what to do." He snapped. "I was... I was meant for so much more than this!" Suddenly, the bottle was no longer in his hands but smashing against the wall.

"Haymitch!"

"I had potential!" He staggered around, trying to process his thoughts. "I'm smart, I could have done something with my life, unlike the rest the lifeless zombies in our district plodding along day after day just waiting to die." He stopped suddenly, obviously realising what he was saying.

I bit hard on my lip, trying to contain how hard that stung. "Like me?"

"I didn't say that." He squinted as if he couldn't imagine where I came up with the thought.

"Like me?" I insisted, this time with less strength.

"I didn't say that!" He snapped, before turning his back on me.

"Well if you're so special, if you're so smart, what the fuck are you doing here?" I knew what I was saying, and I knew that I was about to hurt him, but admittedly a part of me wanted that. "I'm sick of you thinking that you're better than everybody else, shouting your mouth off, pretending you're this brave hero, when really... You're spineless, Haymitch."

This made him turn around. In two strides he was across the room and towering over me. "Don't call me that!"

"You're spineless, and you're a coward!" I pushed.

He laughed bitterly. "Has the thought even entered your thick skull that maybe I'm just trying to play the game?"

"What by sucking up to the Capitol?" I retorted. "You preach all this bullshit about standing up for ourselves, you finally get your chance to make a difference and you're running away. It's pathetic, really."

"Grow up, Sweetheart. I tell you what, you do whatever the hell you want but I actually have a family who cares about me so I'm going to try not to die in some humiliating Capitol designed way on national television."

"But it's ok for me to, cause I don't have a family, right? Oh, by the way, how much make up did it take for them to cover up the scars your oh-so-caring Daddy left you?" Even blind with anger, as soon as the words left my lips I regretted them instantly.

Haymitch's eyes flickered with rage as he grabbed my arms firmly. "Don't you dare talk about my farther!"

"Get off of me!" I yelled pulling away from his grip.

"At least my Dad cared enough not to get rid of me the first chance he had." Haymitch said, his words lowered with venom.

Without hesitation, I pulled my fist back and delivered a sharp blow to his jaw. He stumbled back in shock before seizing me and slamming my back against the wall.

"Let go of me, Haymitch!" I tried pushing him away but he had always been far stronger than myself.

"You bitch!" He tightened his grip on me.

I looked in his once passionate eyes which were now glazed with anger and alcohol. "Look at you! You've spent all this time desperately trying to be the dad that your brother never had but turned out like the one he had all ready."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Brier followed by Orna and a member of security came rushing in. The security guard immediately ripped Haymitch off of me and started pulling him away.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Brier looked the angriest that I had seen him yet.

"I'm nothing like him!" Haymitch shouted, fighting against the guards grip. "Nothing!"

"Look in the mirror!" I shouted back.

"Sometimes I wish that your mum wasn't a cheapskate and just got the abortion she so clearly wanted and saved us all the trouble."

Without even being aware of what I was doing, I was across the room and dragging Haymitch down by his collar. I felt a strong arm wrap around my stomach and I was suddenly being dragged away by Brier. Despite my lashing out, he half dragged, half carried me out of the room. He slammed the door behind us before letting me go, only to grab me again when I tried to make my chance back into the room.

"Your bedroom. Now." He instructed with something in his voice that made me not want to argue. With a grunt I turned and stormed off to my room, Brier on my flank. When we got to my room Brier closed the door behind, turned as if he were about to scold me but then decided against it when he saw my face. He met my eyes and his expression melted.

"Are you ok?" He asked, cautiously, probably scared of setting me off again.

I shook my head knowing that my speech would betray me if I tried to answer.

Slowly, he stepped towards me, took one of my clenched hands in his own and delicately unfolded it. He then started tracing over the nail marks that I hadn't realised I had left in the palm of my hand. I quickly unfolded my other hand feeling it's pain for the first time. I knew it was strange for Brier to be acting so caring compared to his previous behaviour but at that moment I needed him and he was there.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Brier asked.

I opened my mouth to decline but all that came out was a small sob. As if this was the gateway holding everything back, tears started to flood down my face. Sobbing uncontrollably I buried my head into his shoulder so that he couldn't see my face, and honestly I just needed the contact. Brier stiffened for a second but soon I felt his arms wrap around me, tight as if I wasn't the only one who needed this.

"Breath." He whispered in my ear as I started hyperventilating, gasping for air. The argument with Haymitch played itself over and over again in my mind. I could see the anger in his eyes and hear the hatred in his voice just as clear as the first time. And then I could hear all of the horrible things that I said to him.

"He hates me." I whimpered, sounding more pathetic than I would have imagined.

Brier pulled away so that he could look at me. "He doesn't hate you, Maysilee."

"I shouldn't have said what I said." I shook my head, starting to work myself back up again.

Brier could see this. "Come on, let's take a seat." He took my hand in his again, his palm blemished with scars and his skin rough against mine. He then led me over to the edge of my bed.

"I've done a lot of things that I shouldn't have in my life." Brier admitted, his eyes, which never left mine, somehow seemed more intense yet softer than I had seen before. "I have more to regret than most. A lot of which weren't hidden away in a little room, they were recorded for the whole of Panem to see and repeated once a year so that no one can ever forget what I did. Maysilee, no amount of regret will ever change what you said to Haymitch, change what you did that got you here, or change what you will have to do in the arena. All regret will do is weigh you down. You've just got to own it. You've got to accept that you said what you said and do whatever you can do to fix the mess you leave behind."

I fell silent. I had no answer, no sarcastic remarks, I had even ran out of tears. My mind still swirled with thoughts of my argument with Haymitch, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that I was seeing Brier, the real Brier, for the very first time.

After an elongated moment of silence I uttered the two words that I have been wanting to say from the moment Orna read out my name. The two words that I couldn't admit were true. The two words that confirmed my weakness.

"I'm scared."

"Of course." Brier answered, with the dreaded pity in his voice.

"I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of how I'm going to die. But I'm most scared of how this is going to change me. I'm scared that I'll just become a pawn in their game. That I'll become what they tell me to be. That I'll kill who they want me to kill." My eyes had dropped to my knees long ago, too ashamed to watch someone else look at me the way that I see myself. The only person who I'd ever opened up like this to was Haymitch, but confessing to a person who I've known for over a day made me feel exposed and vulnerable. I felt as if I were cracking at the seems, everything I've tried to hide or protect was coming flooding out.

"But you know that just giving up isn't going to stop them from owning you." Brier said.

"I thought you wanted us to give up? To accept the impending reality of our deaths." I gritted my teeth, frustrated that Brier has managed to turn my moment of weakness into a "teachable moment".

Brier gave me a slightly exaggerated look, as if he was weighing me up, deciding how much I was worth. "No. I changed my mind. You're too strong for that. You want to piss the game makers off? They chucked you in here to eliminate a problem. Wouldn't it be more of a screw you if you were the one to come out of there alive?"

"That's not going to happen." I shook my head hoping that he would just let the subject go.

"Why not?" Brier had started to talk louder, with more enthusiasm. "Someone's got to win it."

"I'm not a murderer."

"And you don't have to be," He insisted. "You see, the game is it's own biggest weakness. It's easy to win when you start using all that it has to offer to your advantage. Use the camera time. Get sponsors. Take advantage of the training. Use your skills and assets wisely."

"Like Haymitch has been doing." I interrupted.

He flinched, unsure on how I would react to this. "Precisely. Just think about it, ok?" His hand lingered on my knee for a moment, the gesture felt out of place and unsure, before he pushed himself up into a standing position. He forced a light hearted smile onto his face. "Come on, let's get you to bed. Big day tomorrow." He took my hand again and pulled me up. As though I was a toddler being tucked in by their parent, Brier pulled the bedsheets away and gestured for me to get into bed. I hesitantly obeyed, knowing that all sleep held for me was more nightmares. Brier started retreating towards the door, and I realised that I wasn't ready to be left alone with my thoughts yet.

"Wait. Would you stay with me? Just for a moment?" I no longer cared how pathetic I sounded, or what Brier would think of me, that ship had left the harbour a long time ago.

Brier switched the light off and returned to my side, his features illuminated by the fake moon beaming through the fake windows. He climbed into bed beside me and carefully, not to push his boundaries, stretched his arm over my head. "For however long you want."


End file.
